so what if it hurts me, so what if break down.
i need to keep my head up. i thought i was ready, but now i dont think so anymore. i need more time for myself. i need a break. ME TIME. everything happens so fast that i feel like i need to sit down and re evaluate. i was at a good stable place before but now im starting to feel like everything is crumbling down into the dirt. like how im putting so much into things and letting them effect how i feel about myself. i dont like this feeling. no one is going to bring me down.
i know that it sucks to feel lonely, but i need to stick out this feeling. i need to in some kind of sense re-discover myself before i can let anyone else in. this is so hard for me to describe. but i have been hurt before, kicked around, taken for granted and if anything i want to learn from that and not let the same thing happen. i understand that it was certain circumstances but, in the end it is up to me. its hard to walk away but sometimes it is the right thing to do. slowly, step by step. i need to overall be more independent. focus on other things and dont make other people my priorities.
ALSO on a side note, no more retail therapy..... unless uhoh... i find a nice dress or something, maybe some tights, and HM i wanted one more thing... a long cradigan/jacket thing. alsoooo.... shiettt no more shoes. and i want to get my nails done haha
byebye more later i think ima sleep semi early tonight..... baby sister is comming home. i cant waiiiiiiiit :D