This past school year has been such a roller coaster. Judging and remembering from my blog below it was a whirlwind of emotions that i have never been through during all of my highschool years, infact, ive never been in situations like this throughout my 19 years of life. Freshmen year was definatly a learning experiance. I learned how to live on my on. Sort of, well not completely since i always friends around. but still. Many friends turned into family. For once in my life i had drama. People talking shit, arguments with friends, tears, anger, frustration. In high school it seemed like drama was all around me, but i was never even close to being part of it. While in college i had people who didnt know me, judge and assume things. This made things worse, i was always a shy person, always worried about what people think about me and rumors dont help.
Anyways, i learned never to trust no one. People who you think are shady.. Probably are.
Whirlwind of emotions. So fall 2008 i dated this guy. He wasnt cute, but he was nice. I dumped him for a cute boy who i thought i really "liked", but really didnt. I later found out what real like was. Like unconditional like. I hate to call it love because that just sounds so stupid. I do admit i used hella people to get what i wanted. Like food. I also led people on. Now that i know what real "like" is i hope to be a better person who does not lead people on. Through out this time period i realized that i do not .. go for the person i like, they go for me. If they decided to persue me hard enought i would easily accept. I think i will now.. listen to my heart. Haha. there has to be some kind of click. I promise i will not "hook up" with boys, and regret it. I will not be flattered easily by words. I fell for that countless times, and have finally learned that actions speak louder than words. Do what your heart tells you and don't regret it. I feel like even though i may have regreted many things at the time of the incident looking back i don't regret anything that i have done and i hope that there are just lessons learned.
Better in time- Leona Lewis.
I know im pretty dumb sometimes. but it will all get better in time ;) I believe in change. Im a dork. So most of my post was probably about partying, friends and boys. This is NOT the college experiance i want. I feel like first year was experimenting with the things and people around you. From now on, i really do need to focus on my school work since i want to get filthy rich (apparently getting a good education helps in obtaining a successful career). I have goals and i want to achieve them. This year as a sophomore i plan to better balance acdemics and outside partying and life. Boys i feel like i have a good handle on what i want. "Part time lover, Full time friends".
I do admit, college has changed me. A lot. I'm not afraid to show when i do not like things. Before i was "push-over ish". Do something i don't like. Whatever, i can be cool about it, won't let it get to me. Now when i don't like something, even little things people do, i show it. I dont know if this is a good thing or not but it is most definatly an observation. I also hate it when people push me around. I want to be a strong woman when i grow up. High in-come with the power pants on. I say "Men are the new Woman." Bend over boys!!! Haha kidding but yeah. Also i hate it when people call girls "sluts or whores, ho's" and names like that. You have no idea what situation they are in or whatever. "Date like a man, so you dont get played like a bitch". Ladies is PIMPS too! No fair that men get to have all the fun. Okay done with random girl power rant.
"GET RICH OR DIE TRYING"
I hate working, but i love money. My sister and I are going to be filthy rich one day. Just you watch. Instead of just looking and dreaming of buying a Prada bag, we'll have like.. a million. Im so materialisitc woohoo. The economy is bad too, but i cant help but notice this is the most money ive had my whole life. I used to think teaching piano 3 times a week for $16 per/h made me hella monies. Clearly, my expectations have risen from back then..
Life on the fast lane.
Sometimes you just have to slow down and think about things and what is going on around you. Time to reflect. Decide if this is the path you want to take. You only got one shot. Go big or go home? This is hard when i dont know what to do with the rest of my life. I want to be part of something bigger than myself. IDK!
Bigger than my body- John Mayer
Why Georgia- John Mayer
end post.
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